Tuesday, 17 July 2018

Why do I feel this way?

Sometimes when I am upset over what someone has said to me, people quote the following:

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." That is a quotation attributed the Eleanor Roosevelt.

What does it mean? Does it mean that if we feel bad about ourselves that is the only time someone's thoughtless heartless mean comment can have an effect. I do not know. It never seemed to make sense to me.

When people say critical things to me I often fall to pieces. Maybe I am giving them power, maybe I am giving them consent to upset me. It is so hard, especially when I am trying so hard to do something when everyone is criticising me.

I think one of the hardest things is when I have felt criticised in my role as a mother. Whether it is by a loved one or a stranger, I find I am very sensitive to negative feedback. Does that mean I have given consent to these people to make feel inferior?

I was not one of those mothers that made amazing birthday cakes out of a book or someone who had an immaculate house, no that was not me, that is not how I judge a mother. I loved my children dearly, I had a house full of books and we did many creative activities and went on long walks in the bush. So why if I know this do I let others' words and judgment affect me.

It is not just as my role as a mother that I am sensitive to feedback, I just find it hard not to take it personally where other people tell me the words were not meant in a negative way. So, what is wrong with me?

I have been told I am too sensitive and even if someone comes in to my shop and tells me I have a lot of stuff, which I do, I used to get upset.

Why can't I accept what people say without getting teary?

How do I stop giving people the power to make me feel awful?

I don't know how to do it.

Do you know how to stop giving people consent to make your feel inferior or the power to make you feel awful or to put you down.

Maybe you can help me with some tips?

Leah
A Moodscope member

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Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment on our blog on the Moodscope web site:

https://www.moodscope.com/blog/why-do-i-feel-this-way