Tuesday, 30 January 2018

Do you really think it is better to give than receive?

My mother used to say the saying above and recently I have wondered what it really means especially with regards to mental health.

I am learning to accept help or kindness but it means my friends feel able to ask me for help as well. My friendships have become closer because we are there for each other when things in the good and the bad times.

One day when I was 16 I was sitting on a seat outside school and reluctant to go into school. I was very depressed, and my dad had driven me to school every day for nearly 2 weeks, but I would not get out of the car. This day he said go to the seat and see if you can go inside. I was mad at my dad and I feared going into school as I had been away for so long. A teacher not mine, smiled and said lets hurry up so we won't be late. At the time I was mad at her but years later I remembered her kindness. I am not sure she ever knew how much she helped me.

I wonder is it better to give than receive? The receiver may feel under some obligation to repay their benefactor and so undo much of the benefits of the gift.

Is this our culture speaking, that says manage your own life, never ask for help? On Moodscope we give the sum of our experiences of our lives offering something of use and value. We do not know who will read our words. Hopefully it's a good outcome, but it may have no effect.

I have a friend who has been supporting her neighbour for several years. She is beginning to stand alone, her neighbor has no idea how to help someone else and has said to my friend on the few occasions she has wanted to chat, that the neighbour doesn't know how to help.

Rather than deciding who gains more from an interaction, why not simply do what comes next without deciding who owes what to whom.

I think we all win when someone receives a helping hand. It shows our compassion to other humans and recognizes we are all in this together.

I feel if everyone is giving, who is left to receive. I think it is important to be able to accept help when you need to and why is accepting help seen as such a bad thing?

I would like to hear your views.

Is it better to give than receive or do both actions play an equally important role in being healthy?

 Leah 
 A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment on our blog on the Moodscope web site:

https://www.moodscope.com/blog/do-you-really-think-it-is-better-to-give-than-receive