My son is emotionally up and down at the best of times. He is early teenage but his anger at feeling the world has conspired to be against his every move is something I could see from just after he arrived bottom-first into this world! Sometimes (most times) I have energy and patience to pick apart the problem and talk it out with him. He is so sensitive and the upside of his sensitivity is that he hugs like a bear saying goodbye forever and says "thanks for talking to me". But other times I have neither energy nor patience to search for the needle within the messy haystack. That's when we fall out. Shout. Scowl. Storm.
At those times its healthy to let it lie. Last night I lay in bed listening to him in his bed, in the dark, shouting about his problem. (It was a last-minute thing he wanted to do the next day and I'd said it was not possible.) When he stormed through from his room to mine, I started breathing heavier to pretend I was asleep. He ranted as he came in to my room, then noticed I'd signed out and grumped "I'll just tuck myself in then" as he stormed back out. Sure enough, within moments he was quiet in his bed, in the dark, making peace with the day. It was far more beneficial that for that time, we let it lie.
This is also true with ourselves.
Another way of being 'kind to yourself' (a phrase often lauded) is simply to realise when it is a good time to encourage yourself and when it is not. I know that might seem very basic but how often do you push yourself to do something only to do it in such a way that it is of no benefit at all? Gym? Diet? Sleep? Work longer?
Sometimes we need to let it lie.
The room above the garage
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