Sunday, 18 December 2016

To trust? Or not to trust?

"You can talk to me. You don't need to hide how you're feeling."

I talk to them...

I don't hide how I'm feeling...

Realise they didn't mean it...

What do you do when this happens? Especially if it is someone who you felt close to, or who you are close to, but it turns out that for whatever reason they are not equipped to give you what you need after you've found the courage to confide in them.

Do you block them out and distance yourself from them? Do you forgive them for not understanding? Do you get annoyed with yourself for believing that you could lean on them for support? Do you blame them? Do you blame yourself? Does it reaffirm your feeling of being 'too broken'? Do you let it affect your self-esteem? Do you decide you don't need people like that in your life? Do you need anyone in your life? Or are you better off alone?

How much do we accept? How do we hold someone accountable for their emotional offerings? How do you go about the damage limitation after you've said too much and realise that now they know that side of you, they look at you differently and your relationship may never be the same again? What do you do?

Do you resolve to not make that mistake in future? But then, is it the true 'test' to establish if they really do care as much as they implied? If they fail that test, what do you do then? Cut them from your life? Involve them less? Talk to them less? Assign them a less-important role?

Is it their fault though? Didn't they mean well? Isn't this why we have psychiatrists etc? Because some problems are too big for the regular Joe Bloggs to know the answer to? My problems are too big for myself, half the time. Why would it be any different for an outsider?

Do you feel let down? Do you tell them you feel let down? How do you determine who you can depend upon? Is it trial and error? Does anyone have a tried and tested method that I can use to maintain the few decent relationships I have left? And maybe salvage the ones that are now cracked?

Sophie
A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment on our blog on the Moodscope web site:

https://www.moodscope.com/blog/to-trust-or-not-to-trust