Flumpy died on Wednesday.
I took her to the Vet.
It was the right thing to do.
I have no regrets.
Nevertheless I am bereft at the loss of my loyal friend who has been there for me everyday, through good times and bad over the last 16 years.
To some my reaction may seem self indulgent, pathetic and weak.
Why should their opinion worry me so?
For the first time in my life, I have decided to show the same level of compassion and understand-ing to myself, that I would freely show to others.
This is something new for me.
They say there are two types on people in the world. Takers and givers. Takers apparently eat better while givers sleep better...hmmm...I don't agree. I have spent all of my life giving..and although I don't regret this, I do regret forgetting to give to me! Over the last year during my recu-peration from 'burn out', I have come to realise this simple mistake that so many of us with depres-sion make.
I now work tirelessly at not feeling selfish when I do small things for me.
I accept that I am as human and emotional as anyone else.
Today I feel as if I have 'rocks in my heart'...and for that I will not apologise.
Life is sometimes painful and that pain is subjective to the individual feeling it. I have chosen this time to accept, respect and heal in my own way and in my own time.
I will forgive those who do not understand.
A Moodscope member.
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