Sunday, 30 October 2016

Thoughts in a malestrom.

Faster and faster...

Looking around
everything blurs
laying in bed.

Faster and faster...

Lying in the middle of a maelstrom
trying to get hold of a friend
but I just pull them down.

Faster and faster...

Where does it go?
When will it stop?
Will it destroy me instead?

Faster and faster...

Hoping for some certainty
a fraction of security
a tiny bit of love.

Faster and faster...

Refusing drugs to slow it down
feeling alive while close to death
waiting for the crash.

Slower...

This time I got out
panting, but alive
how long can this go on?

Slower...

I have analysed myself
tried to prevent things like this
none of my dams have held.

Slower...

Where has my discipline gone?
Should I embrace my mental chains again?
Can I ever feel emotion, intimacy, love?

Slower...

Freedom may be too dangerous
though it is only freedom of mind
the feeling thrills but is threatening.

Slower...

I patch up the wreck of my battered mind
setting sail again
seeking the next cliff to shatter on.

I shout out LOUD
THIS IS NOT GOING TO TAKE ME DOWN
IT IS FEEBLE, WEAK AND PUNY

I WILL PREVAIL
AM GOING TO BEAT IT DOWN
AM RESISTANT, HARD AND CAPABLE

A sound ship again
the HMS Me
I come out of the storm.

Richard
A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment on our blog o the Moodscope web site:

https://www.moodscope.com/blog/thoughts-in-a-malestrom