Tuesday, 15 March 2016

Why I talk to machines.

When I was a student teacher, there were two photocopiers name B1 and B2 after Bananas in Pyjamas. Well everyone favoured B1 and there was always a huge queue because B2 always caused problems. One day I was in a hurry so cautiously approached B2. I whispered (because even teachers would think that was a bit silly) to him that I had every confidence he would photocopy my papers without jamming especially when I was doing double sided, and I felt he was misunderstood. B2 rose to the occasion, my task was completed, and I never had any problems with B2 again.

I talk to my computer but I have actually shouted at it, so my computer is not always that helpful.

I have tried being patient and understanding but sometimes when I have just lost a whole email or page I tend to get a bit upset!

I have had a difficult time with printers over the years. They tend to be in my experience rather an arrogant and selfish lot. I have tried to be calm and tolerant but they insist on jamming paper or not printing what I wanted on one page preferring to spread a few sentences onto a new page!

The machine I have had the most trouble with is the laminator, no matter how hard I try to be careful one piece is always scrunched up. I have tried to bargain with laminators, beg them, bribe them, promise them anything, but to no avail. People say, trying to be helpful, that I have had the settings, too hot, too slow, that I didn't have the laminating sheets even enough and many other pieces of advice.

The laminator knows and I know that laminators want humans to be scared of them and it works so well.

There will be some people reading this blog thinking "and I thought I had problems!,"  while others will be relieved that there is another person who talks to machines.

Sometimes it is far easier to believe that it is the machine playing up than admitting it could be my impatience or ignorance.

I have found it is more useful to try to reason with a machine than get frustrated and angry.

Have you talked to any machines and was it a calming or stressful experience?

A Moodscope member.

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