To all my friends on Moodscope, this is my first blog so bear with me.
As we all know, dealing with bi-polar is always difficult. Sometimes a little easier and other times so very challenging. It is particularly difficult when we are trying to rationalize or explain our own emotions and feelings to someone who asks how we are doing. This is especially true if the helping person has never dealt with the ups and downs of a mental illness.
Being a common sense person, I developed a technique which has helped me answer this difficult question not only to myself but also to others deeply concerned about my well being.
I look at my emotional state like one views an automobile. When it is tuned up with new plugs, fresh oil, good gas and correct tire pressure, the auto hits on all eight cylinders, cruising down the highway with ease.
As time goes on and mileage adds up however, one or two plugs will eventually start to foul and fail. At that point, instead of running smoothly on eight cylinders, the car is only running on six. It still runs smoothly for a while, but if not corrected, the six cylinders drop to four, and then two, barely even starting. Eventually, when those two cylinders give out, the car will not even start and it is time for another major tune up.
I look at my emotional state in much the same way. When I feel good I am confident and secure and know I can accomplish anything. As a result I often take on much more than I should. It looks good and actually feels good with my mind fueling my engine with positive thoughts of affirmation. It also deceives me and tells me to keep going and take on more and more. You are so worthwhile. Look at your accomplishments. More. More. More.
Over time, however, the pace and grind of the fast lane takes its toll. My energy level drops a little, but I keep trying to perform at an almost super human level. Slowly, I drop to six, four, and then two cylinders. Eventually, if I don't take care of myself, I won't even start, let alone cruise down the roadway of life. Then I realize I did it again and know it is time for a tune up to recharge my batteries.
In this regard I think many or us are our own worst enemies. We know what feeling good is like. But we also know the illness from which we cannot escape. So we fight hard to feel good, only leading us to find that we need that all important tune-up.
So I am asking you, how many cylinders are you hitting on today? Do you need that all important maintenance and tune-up in order to cruise down this highway of life?
A Moodscope member.
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