It had not been a good day. I had used every last bit of energy to drag myself out of bed, shower, and walk downstairs to open my shop. In between customers I had been crying behind the counter only to rise up with my happy face to serve customers. I wished the hours away so I could close up.
I crawled up stairs sat and collapsed on the bed. My partner stared at me and said 'Can you at least make more of an effort?' I was about to shout at him about him being insensitive until I loooked into his eyes and saw how tired and frustrated he was. I didn't like being and dealing with me and my irritablity, so I could only imagine how difficult it was for him.
I think when I am having a bad day I am so focused on myself that I forget how hard it must be for others who feel they have to tippy toe around me.
Instead of reacting and shouting, I explained how hard the day must have been for him and if he could just wait about ten minutes I would help him. I fell alseep and woke up a few hours later.
I want everyone to respect my moods and my limitations.
I even have a list of do's or don'ts:
Don't ask me anything that requires a decision.
Don't tell me there are so many people worse off than me.
Don't try to cheer me up by telling me jokes or being funny.
Do be there whenever I need a hug.
Do listen but do refrain from trying to fix me.
Lots more but you get the idea. (sounds very demanding when written down!!)
Sometimes I forget that I need to repect loved ones and understand how exhausting it must be to cope with me.
I am sure my loved ones lists of things they want me to do or not do when feeling low, would fill a large book!!
To be clear, I am not saying I don't want special attention and attention when depressed, of course I do, but I also want to consider the effect I may have on others.
How do you balance your own needs when you are very needy and those of others who are close to you. I would really like to read your ideas.
A Moodscope member.
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