"If I ever do fall off this wall" said Humpty Dumpty "the king has promised to send all his horses and all his men...." Said with the absolute confidence that they would "......pick me up in a minute". The absolute confidence of an egg sitting on a wall!! Not a lot of those to the dozen...
What a wonderful backdrop to life; to think that whatever you did you it would be alright; that your back is covered; that you are invincible; immune. I'm not sure it's true or achievable unless you are a Buddhist monk or sage or a hard boiled egg. But if it is, the answer lies internally - not with the king's horses and king's men but your own strengths.
I don't have those yet. Those strengths. I did have some strengths but they seem to have left me a while ago. I often feel nowadays that I am sitting on that wall. I try very hard not to sway or move too much to upset the equilibrium. But yesterday I was sitting on that wall when suddenly I wanted to throw myself off it. I was doing fine, but a thought called up in the midst of life and I was sunk. All I wanted to do was crash into oblivion. And I could not recover from that thought for the rest of the day.
It was not a good day. My Moodscope score hit the floor. But all days are not all the same. Some days are good. I'm here today and I am writing this and live to survive another day and make another omelette. My Moodscope score will rise! What was black yesterday is grey today and may be white tomorrow.
Please be assured my fellow Moodscopers - I am not seeking your support in a black moment. I am moving past that low, low day. I know I am not alone and wanted to share that thought with anyone else feeling low - there is hope. It may come tomorrow or it could be through meditation, medication or learning. We each of us need our own strategies for working our way out of those downs, back into the sunshine. I'm not sure what mine is but I keep coming back up for air!!
So I just keep concentrating on learning about myself and life, and the learning is proving fascinating. Life is full of ingredients which together add up to something else. I think my recipe for today might concentrate on the key ingredients of appreciation, compassion and forgiveness. Three wonderful eggs of opportunity. But I also need an emotional sauce that will not overpower, a bit of spice, some seasoning and a few 'erbs of wisdom. Could be a great omelette!
If you know your recipe for coping, it would be good to share.
Alice (Through the Looking Glass)
A Moodscope Member.