"If you don't have time, it's not important enough."
So many people say, when you ask them to do something or go somewhere – "I just don't have time."
I believe this is the modern PC, polite way of saying "No thanks" and does any relationship no favours, whether personal or professional.
It's like people saying 'I'll try' when they know they have no intention of doing whatever it is and we innately know they will not do it.
I'd far rather people said to me – "I'm sorry I can't come that night I have x or y to do". That tells me they take their responsibilities seriously and that they have prior commitments they need to fulfil that are actually more important than what I have asked. I would actually trust them more, for telling me the truth.
The best leader I know, unequivocally will say 'No' straight away and I used to get upset they didn't even consider it. It took me some time to know that when he did commit to do something – he never then, unless in an emergency, failed to deliver. He was teaching me by example, the only credible way to teach, especially our children.
How many of us will be drawn into agreeing to too many things and then not fully fulfilling many or even any of them properly?
How many of us rush from one thing to the next, cursing traffic or our commitments, as our blood pressure and stress builds?
The most important thing in our lives is to decide what is important - and STICK to it.
That way, we can be less stressed, more effective and can actually, through our actions rather than words, become a leader to the next generation, whether family or not!
Then we have time to be mindful - go to the gym, go for a walk – or whatever it is for you to stay healthy. To sharpen the saw as Covey would say.
More importantly we will be trustworthy – worthy of trust – the one thing that changes everything.
Then interpersonal and managerial trust will follow, but it starts with self-trust.
Are you today, going to do what you have decided, is important to you? Can you say 'no' to enable you to be strong enough, to be then be able to truly support and lift others? Can you clearly identify the most important things in your life, from which you will not be blown off course, including your values?
A Moodscope member.