Friday, 24 July 2015

Surfing the waves of life.

I find it really hard to articulate the feelings around my anxiety to my loved ones, which makes it even harder for them to support me as they have no idea how I feel.

I was recently trying to think of an analogy to describe my anxiety in the best way. It is just like surfing. The water is life. When you are on top of the surf board and surfing the waves of life you feel great and you can't ever imagine falling off the surf board. It is like you have never fallen off the surf board and never will; you are on top of the wave having the best time. This is how I feel when I am fine.

When the anxiety starts to approach is when perhaps the board hasn't been waxed well and it's slippery. I keep falling off but the ankle strap pulls me back up and I keep jumping back on the board. For me this is when I need to be conscious that the anxiety is becoming uncontrollable again – there is still time to pull it back in, or wax the board so you can surf the waves of life again.

Then there are those times when I fall completely off the surfboard, and I am deep beneath the waves. The ankle strap has broken and it feels like there is no coming back. It feels like I will never be on the board surfing the waves again.

Little do I know, there is a jet ski with a rescuer on its way – I will surf again, maybe not today, but maybe tomorrow or the next day, but I will.

I find this analogy an accurate way to describe my anxiety and how desolate I can feel on a bad day. The bad days are not eternal – they come and go, even if they feel like they are here forever. So if you have taken a tumble from your board, just remember the jet ski is on its way and tomorrow (or the next day, or the next) you will be surfing like a pro once again.

Dani
A Moodscope member.