Can you be a touch bi-polar? Can you have a streak of it running through you like the white streak in Lily Munster's hair? I apologise in advance if this blog is flippant to those who are bi-polar, I really don't mean it to be. Humour is my default to coping. It's just that through reading Mary's blogs, so much of what she describes of her highs and lows, resonates with my own behaviours that it makes me curious.
I'm not bi-polar because I have a steady low that can go from bad to worse. But when I get very busy (stressed to the hilt) I can jump on the steam train on steroids and then the silly stuff happens. Normal thoughts float elegantly to the ground and instead my thoughts turn into something like cartoons with all of the outrageous sound effects, only not so fun and happy.
I'll be going on holiday soon. Naturally I am going to die on the plane. Like I did last year. And it will bring comfort to those mourning me to know I squeezed in an eye test before I left. As they sift through the 42 years of gathered stuff they will thank me for washing the kitchen floor and changing all the beds. Piling up donations to charity they will love that I frantically cleared out and glued all the broken toys. Why would I want to meander into holidays feeling calm and relaxed when I can create tension and anxiety that a film maker would pay top dollar for! I lose half of the holiday to recovering from this trip to the fair ground on fast forward.
I've been using meditation to grow my peace. It has helped. Only, at these times my brain is so strong in its quest to be a cartoon, that exhaustion takes over and I can't stay awake to meditate. Sleeping like a koala bear (up to 22 hours a day) would still not be enough.
So I ask you...can you be a touch bi-polar?
The room above the garage.
A Moodscope member.