I try not to look back. There's too much there that can be regretted and it is unhealthy for my mind. However, if we stumble along a coastal path only looking forward or clamber up a hill never looking down, we are undoubtedly depriving ourselves of our achievement.
After talking about the beach on Lex's post recently, half term made it an easy decision to make a dash to the beach. My go-to place of recovery. Its cold. Windy. Beautiful in any weather. Beautiful in any mood. Feeling small there has a comfort of its own. My children were grumpy. They each had a reason not to go. I was driven. I could not be me without it.
We went. They laughed, then they fell out. They played, then they fell out. My youngest daughter fell out with us all and stomped into the sunset as we headed back. I stomped after her trying to catch her shadow. I remembered that she is (like me!) unreasonable at all times and so I decided she needed to burn out her anger and stopped trying to catch her. As I turned and looked back to see where my other children were, I caught the most glorious sight. My (anxiety driven and argumentative) son caught in silhouette. His shape dark against a sun kissed sea. He looked free and he looked happy. My camera clicked and clicked and clicked. And I look forward to seeing if I caught the moment as I remember it in my head.
Don't forget to look back, just a little, and see from where you have come. If it does not bring you pleasure, it will bring you perspective.
The room above the garage.
A Moodscope member.