All the 'normal' shoulds, coulds and woulds that we continually use like a club to inflict self-pain, thinking as though, while mentally debilitated, we 'should, could and would' be able to operate as normal - just like a 100M runner with a broken leg!
Can we eradicate such words from our internal conversation as well as our external one where we happily self-flagellate in public?
The challenge I find is that we procrastinate SO much that even the act of not being able to decide, depresses us.
I often put this down to the fact that thinking is an IQ process and that it takes an emotional desire - that 'feeling' (EQ), to turn that thought into action.
So without the desire to do something, our thoughts kinda get trapped in our head and simply go round the mental roundabout without anywhere to 'get off' and with no desire to actually change the angle of the 'steering wheel' as it doesn't feel safe to do so!
In the creation of a habit there are three ingredients:
1) Knowledge – the what to and why
2) Skill – the how to
3) Desire – the want to
Are they all equal or is there one more important than the other two?
Our schooling world would say knowledge and skill, yet if there is no 'want to', nothing will change.
When our brain is 'broken' and we feel unsafe, recognise it is a challenge to turn our thoughts into actions. We 'know' intellectually what we should, could and would do but starting the action engine, which is always the heart can be difficult. We even talk about a 'loss of heart' when we cannot put 'our heart into it'.
So when and if you are depressed, allow your brain to circle the roundabout and do not beat yourself up about it – be gentle – realise that you are not yourself. Don't make any important decisions and if you have to, have a good friend who understands you, to interact with, to come to a joint decision. Use their heart as they connect with your head.
A Moodscope member.