Tuesday, 14 April 2015

"Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone".

That's probably the only thing I will remember my middle school teacher telling me. At the time I thought that it was a very narrow minded, bleak view of the world. Now I've been battling depression for over five years, it's been a bitter pill to swallow in realizing that there's truth to that saying.

I've always managed to "put my face on". Most of you know what that's like. Pretending to be happy. Smiling when inside you are crying. Never seeming as if you have a care in the world. But there came a point where it was all too exhausting and I no longer could continue the charade.

That's when I realized who my true friends were. They could be counted using fingers. Less than a hand.

Even to this day the fact remains that people I learn to trust suddenly stop calling once they find out I am having a blip. Or I'm being very negative.

But I've learned valuable lessons. Firstly, and most importantly, those that stayed are now closer to me than ever. They mopped up my tears, sent me positive messages and were there for me on the days I hated myself so much, that I couldn't even move. Secondly, I am more discerning when it comes to telling people about my mental health. I am not embarrassed by my depression. I am not at fault. This isn't my doing. But I know now that there are people who are true friends and people who pass through your life. And learning to differentiate between the two has been the hardest task.

I'm still learning. I'm still trying to live with depression. But I feel like those rose tinted glasses have been removed and suddenly the world is a clearer place.

It might not be the happy shining place I once thought. But I know there really are genuine caring people out there, who won't let you cry alone.

Value those people in your life, whoever they may be. They are as rare as four leaf clovers. But once found they give you far more than you can ever return.

Zahraa
A Moodscope member.