Wednesday, 1 October 2014

It's OK Not To Be OK.

Just imagine for a moment that you have the perfect life. No, go on, close your eyes and just imagine. You have a strong and attractive body; you have enough money to do anything you like; you live in a beautiful home in any part(s) of the world you choose. Your handsome/beautiful partner is warm, generous, loving and kind and adores the ground you walk on. Your children (if you have children) are healthy, bright and doing well at school or careers and relationships. You have work which is worthwhile and satisfies you, and at which you are successful. (I know this may not be everyone's perfect life, but it's mine).

Given all that, do you think you might still get depressed from time to time?

Well, the evidence tends to suggest that the people who have (apparently) got it all, suffer depression in the exactly the same ratios as we (normal) people. Something to think on, isn't it.

Because we do seem to have this script in our heads that says "If I could just get these problems sorted out I'd feel better" and "I wouldn't feel this way if only..." oh, and don't forget the most insidious little voice of all; the one that says "I already do have the perfect life: I shouldn't be depressed".

That last one is a particularly nasty little beast. It specialises in post natal depression, but can turn up with anyone at any time. It hands you a spiked club and invites you to beat yourself up. It's amazing that a lot of us take on that invitation with alacrity!

A friend of mine calls this the "Shoudda, Wouldda, Coudda Butt-Stick; as in "I shouldn't feel this way, but"; "I would love to feel that way, but" and "I could have done the other, but" and she tells me to imagine myself hitting myself repeatedly on the bottom with this stick while at the same time trying to wriggle away from it.

Pretty silly, huh?

So yes, we might have done things/felt things differently. We didn't. Newsflash: we're not perfect! Even if we do have the perfect life, we are just ordinary fallible human beings. We need to be OK with that. We can be depressed in Paradise; we can be depressed in Milton Keynes (just the first town I thought of – don't take it personally, MK).

Sometimes we just need to get over ourselves and stop the drama. So, we've got depression. No biggie. It's a bore; we'd love to be well, but we're not. For goodness' sake let's not beat ourselves up about it, because that's not amusing for anyone.

And anyone who does find it amusing has got far more problems than we have!

Mary
A Moodscope member.