Friday, 15 August 2014

Where do you find your solace?

Sometimes, you just know. From the second you wake up and the world seems somewhat asymmetrical and you feel bad - you just know that it's going to be a bad day. For me, these are further categorised by a deterioration in my speech (I stammer), an intense desire to be alone and all this underpinned by a lethargy that takes me little further than from bed to sofa and back again. Oh, and crying at crap adverts on TV. So, what to do? Now that I'm unemployed, I have no reason to chi-chi myself up (eyeliner, tights and a shiny handbag) to send me on my way to, if not a better mood, then a better faked mood. My other half lives 150 miles away and even if he was nearer, I'd probably growl at him to keep his distance. Meanwhile, my friends are there but we know that we really don't like to 'bother them,' when we feel this way, even if we know - especially when we know? - that they'd be gutted to know we were suffering in silence. So, where do I find my solace?

Well, not too far down from my house lives a good friend who lets me circumnavigate those pesky pleasantries, instead simply whispering, 'they're in there,' and pointing to the garage. And in there lie 2 Golden Retrievers, Arthur and Jonah, whose tails begin to wag as they snuffle around me, sometimes putting a paw on my leg as I fuss around them, getting their leads, slipping them over their necks and armed with each other, we walk out into the sunshine. Forty minutes later, I return them and am somehow more primed to talk to people. The Retrievers have loosened up that part of me that was so reluctant to engage because when faced with the unconditional, low-maintenance and innocent love that dogs present, there really is no option other than to surrender.

Sarah
A Moodscope member.