Monday, 11 August 2014

When will I get better?

This really has gone on too long now.

It's my third bout of depression now. More than a couple of years of medication this time. Some counselling and now I've asked for more.

My average Moodscope score has gone right up. It was 94 on my holiday! Yet I still have the days when I don't want to get out of bed. Days when showering and dressing seems too hard. Days when my normal extroversion disappears and I want to hide away from the world.

Sometimes I get frustrated. I want to get on with my life. I want to know that I can cope, so I can go for more challenging work.

Sometimes I am thankful. This bout has made me look within, look at some of my insecurities and triggers. When I come out of this I will be stronger. Does that make it worth it?

Sometimes I am accepting. This is the way I am right now. I do not know how long it will last and there is no point in fighting it.

A Moodscope member.