Tuesday, 26 August 2014

Acceptance.

The same day I learnt in counselling that I 'might' be depressed I was also encouraged to look at Moodscope. I was shocked at my scores. I had no idea that my mood was so low, probably because it had been for a very long time and to me it had become normality.

I cried some more, lots more of course and realised that there was no point seeking help if I was going to ignore their professional judgement. This spurred me on to go to the doctors and of course I came out with a prescription for anti-depressants. I have been on the medication for 4 months now and attending weekly counselling sessions.

I regularly track my moodscope score and can see I have come a long way. A low day now would have been a really good day for me 3 months ago! I believe that the combination of counselling and medication is working for me. I needed the latter in order to relieve the tears, the guilt, the crippling sadness. This in turn has enabled me to engage with the therapeutic process.

I have a long way to go in healing myself, I still have low days but I am learning to be kinder to myself, I am learning to try and show myself some compassion. I am building up a toolkit of strategies to help myself through this difficult time. One of the biggest achievements I have made is recognising that it is ok to seek help and support, it's a strength and not a weakness.

Rosie
A Moodscope member.