Monday, 23 June 2014

Why Bipolar is misunderstood.

I want to kick off by saying Moodscope is a really great help to me. Seeing my scores climbing from low to high over a period of time feels great and seeing small dips on my chart is less disheartening when I can track how long before the dip I felt OK for.

However, with Bipolar Disorder the manic highs are equally soul destroying  and can have the same impact on family and friends as debilitating depression. It's no secret to my loved ones that at this precise moment I am having a manic episode. Work's going well and I feel empowered, almost invincible, I am flitting from one thing to another, want to aquire stuff I don't really need with money I definitely don't have. I'm also waking up at 4.00 am every morning, sneaking downstairs to start cleaning or even worse start sending Emails.

During these periods, when I spin the moodscope playing cards, I score 100% every time. My moodscope buddy often Emails me to congratulate me on my high scoring. When in fact I feel exhausted from lack of sleep and have probably already caused real upset at home.

I would like to hear if others experience the same thing. It's hard for people to empathise when all they are seeing in you is enthusiasm, energy and cheerfulness. In truth, under the surface, lies a debilitating condition that often reaks havoc. Maybe the cards should incorporate questions that flag up these manic spikes so they don't mask how we are truly feeling.

Damian
A Moodscope member.