Tuesday, 17 June 2014

Keeping an eye on things.

I'm a fellow Moodscope user who's been meaning to sit down and write some posts for the blog for a while now and today I've finally got my rear into gear,​as it were.

I look forward to reading the posts every morning before starting my day in earnest - they've become part of my loose ritual for steering my brain to a good place as best I can before facing the outside world, and I'm most thankful for them; they're a great humanity-connector. I don't tend to actually take the test until later in the day, by which time I've hopefully dipped more than a toe in the water and know where I am a bit more.

I've never been diagnosed with depression, despite some of my close family members having been, but I have certainly experienced the black fog that seemingly comes out of nowhere, draining me of any joie de vivre, mostly just for a few days but occasionally for a few weeks, with varying degrees of regularity.

Moodscope helps me feel like I'm keeping an eye on things - sometimes my score has been a bit of a surprise which reminds me of the need to check in with myself regularly; I have had a tendency to power on through, numbing myself out then picking up the pieces later.​  It's also good to actually see the peaks and troughs and realise that the troughs aren't actually as dominant or last as long as they feel - oh the dragging of time in a trough...

I'm not sure if my own particular fog is chemically or thought induced, most likely a heady mixture of both, but it's great to feel like I'm not entirely at its mercy (it doesn't have much mercy). Things are shifting all the time, even if it's only by the smallest of degree and as my awareness grows, so does my strength.​Onwards.

Lois
A Moodscope user.