I'm someone who often fails to appreciate what I have. Or so I rather harshly tell myself. So I thought I'd put down exactly what I do have in order to make me feel more grateful. That was a few days ago and apart from it feeling like another chore to do, nagging away in the back of my mind; it didn't work.
It's not really that I don't appreciate what I have. It's just that I don't necessarily consider that other people would think of my attributes, skills or relationships as anything special. I devalue myself at every turn and undermine my own self confidence with the negative outlook I have.
But why do this? Why see the glass as half empty all the time? What do I gain from taking the pessimists view of life? I often strive to find an answer but this is as close as I can come to it.
It's about getting it wrong and feeling foolish or embarrassing myself or not looking good enough. It's about taking risks and living with the outcomes. I'm pretty risk adverse as you might suspect and struggle to change this outlook in most areas of my life.
However, just by putting this out there to those of you who read the blog I've taken a big risk (for me). I've faced rejection (it might never make the Moodscope blog,) and done it anyway. I've confronted some difficult thoughts (that I am a glass half empty person) and it's made me more determined (to keep on trying to see the glass as half full,) another thing I sometimes struggle to be.
So for today I'll be grateful even if there's only a drop of water in the glass.
A Moodscope member.