Sunday, 20 April 2014

Who's your 'friend'?

Debbie in her wonderful blog 'Is your dustbin overflowing' (Saturday 15th March) used a phrase which has really resonated with me ...'Perpetual rumination'.

My hubby often accuses me of having conversations with 'Harvey' – and he is right; I will have a full-blown conversation about, say, the weekend's arrangements and draw up a complete timetable. A couple of days later I will refer to this conversation to hubby, and then accuse hubby of never listening to me when he looks at me blankly. You see, in my mind these arrangements have been fully discussed (and agreed to of course!) but hubby is completely in the dark – hence his observation "You've been talking to Harvey again".

How often do we have conversations that never happen? How often do we rehearse and re-rehearse what we are going to say, what the other person is going to say, and how we will respond? How often are we guilty of 'perpetual rumination'?

This is unhealthy and unhelpful – for me and for everyone else (especially when they don't respond as I have scripted!) I used to drive to work, rehearsing such conversations, which never or rarely happened.
These days, I now recognise that whenever Harvey reappears (as has happened this week) I am in danger of falling into old negative thinking patterns.
Nowadays, thanks to Louise Hay, I drive to work saying my affirmations out loud; "I am safe; all is well; I am my own authority; there is plenty of time, space and energy to do everything that I want".

So, who's your 'friend'?  Can you be your own 'best friend' and reassure and encourage yourself?  In my heart of hearts, I firmly believe that we are all doing the best we can – we just need to remind ourselves every day.

A Moodscope member.