There's never a good time to talk about wanting to die. We don't like talking about it because it makes us feel uncomfortable and it is depressing and perhaps even pessimistic. But not being able to talk about it is what makes it worse, and can make a person much more lonely.
Feeling so bad that you think about dying is truly awful and I can say that because it happens to me a lot. Sometimes it is just a fleeting thought and then nothing for months or even years and sometimes it is a reccurring thought that stays with me for days, weeks, even months. That's when it gets tough and harder to see as a temporary situation that I can ride out.
I have thought about dying a lot and I have acted on it several times and thankfully pulled through, often with the odds stacked against me. Im neither proud nor ashamed of that. I just think it is okay to talk about sucidal thoughts and feelings. I think it is okay because talking about it has helped me to survive and to overcome some very dark moments.
I have tried many times to write a blog about suicide and suicidal feelings and always decided it was too depressing but then I thought well hey, not all of life is sunshine and rainbows and maybe somebody needs to hear that wanting to die happens and that people do survive it every day.
I would like to share a few statements that help me to hold on when things get particularly bad, be warned, they are not sugar coated:
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
People never get over the suicide of a loved one, it leaves so much pain for the people you care about.
Having a rough morning? Place your hand over your heart. Feel that? That's called purpose. Don't give up.
If you feel suicidal please talk to somebody about it. Don't be ashamed or embarrassed and don't think you are on your own. You will survive it. Don't give up.
A Moodscope member.