Tuesday, 21 January 2014

How do you handle endings?

I don't know about you, but I've never been brilliant at dealing with endings. When I was 18, my parents' divorce meant we had to move from my childhood home, but instead of getting involved and helping pack, I went on holiday. A few years later, when I wanted to finish with a boyfriend, I wrote him a letter rather than have to witness his upset face-to-face. And when I left university, I opted out of the graduation ceremony. We all have our patterns, and evidently avoidance is mine.

I suspect I'm not alone in this. We might be more open than our ancestors, but most of us still aren't comfortable talking about death, for instance. And how often do you see rock stars continuing playing even though their glory days over and long term they might be better off quitting?

The trouble with not acknowledging endings is it can leave us with emotions – grief, anger, sorrow, guilt – that haven't been expressed. Through therapy, I've come to see that it has been one of the sources of my own anxiety. For others it may lead to depression.

These days I'm trying to handle endings differently and over the next two days I'll be blogging again to share how. But today I'd like to invite you to consider how you handle endings. Do you ignore them – like an ostrich? Or flee, perhaps because you're afraid? Or perhaps you get aggressive and blame others. Whatever your predisposition, I'd love to hear, so please do comment on this blog and let me – and other Moodscopers – know.

Meanwhile there will be more on this subject tomorrow. See, I warned you I'm bad at endings – I can't even finish here!

Sarah
A Moodscope user.