Thursday, 16 January 2014

Bullying. Don't put up with it. Stop it now.

Suzy's recent posts about work and having to give it up for health reasons made me think of how I was bullied at work and how I put up with it for too long thinking it was my fault.

Bullying is never acceptable. It is never the victim's, the person who is being bullied's, fault.

Whether the bullying takes place in the work place, school or the home or even in social situations, it should not be tolerated.

When I was bullied at work, it was subtle and could have been construed as all in my imagination. I was told I was paranoid and that no–one was intentionally bullying me. I was imagining it.

I was asked for specific examples.

When I gave them, they sounded stupid and my body language and faltering language suggested that really yes I probably was imagining it.

If I named a specific individual, the names were met with horror and disbelief by my head of department.

Of course these people were senior to me so no action was taken. And because I was depressed and couldn't sleep, I became inwardly self accusing and began to doubt that I was right. Maybe I deserved to be treated like this. I worked hard and completed all my tasks but somehow my face didn't fit even though I made such an effort to conform and be strong.

These people had bullied before and the victims had left under various different circumstances, all detrimental to them. The bullies remained, were promoted and chose other targets to bully.

Now I am in a much happier place and the day I left on sick leave, I was in happier place even though I felt guilty and all the emotions Suzy and others write about when having to give up work.

Anyone who feels they are being bullied should not put up with it for as long as I did and many others have.

Get help now and know that you are right and they are wrong. I promise you, the bullies are always wrong. The victim always right. So why wait to take action?