Thursday, 25 April 2013

Unravelling.

What's bugging you? A friend who owns a local business was clearly miffed when we chatted the other day. It's a long story, but at its heart he'd helped someone with something and they'd not said thanks, but the thing is, I could see it wasn't really the lack of gratitude which had got to him so badly: there was definitely something else. I think he imagined it would be obvious to me, but I honestly had to tease out exactly what was making him so angry, but once I'd done so, I could understand and empathise.

It made me think, though, that when I feel cross or get down in the dumps, I'm not always clear myself about the true cause. If I'm angry because I break something, it could be because it was worth a lot of money, or it could be that it had sentimental value. But it might equally have been that I hated feeling clumsy, or that I knew I'd now have to clear up the mess but didn't have time.

It's not always easy to understand why someone else feels the way they do. So why should it always be immediately obvious why you feel the way you do? The next time you find yourself thinking less than sunny thoughts, ask yourself why, and preferably don't stop self-interrogating until you've pinned down the real answer.